I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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