So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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