just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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