I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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