Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
