Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
