I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
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he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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