I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
