why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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