I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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