He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
