Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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