The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
nutella sex= disaster
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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