I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize