I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
