but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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