Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
im six kinds of drunk right now
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We have started to decorate penises.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
