just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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