Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize