it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she smelled like a LAN party
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
