So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
