I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
