Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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