You really coming over, don't trick.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
