this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
