Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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