omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
