just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hippo gnu deer
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize