she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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