We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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