even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
