Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize