But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
