You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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