The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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