Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
