The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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