I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I pour the whiskey from now on
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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