im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
