I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
