We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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