dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
