i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
