God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
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