Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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