Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
