Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize