I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
