uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
