Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
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