and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
ugly people sure do ruin things
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
