I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
