I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize