i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
