I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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