im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.