We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.