the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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