just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
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I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
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I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??