Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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