I faked an abortion last night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
