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Got a toothbrush?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
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