Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?