it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dating After Heartbreak
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.