its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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