What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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