We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
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How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
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I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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