I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
