just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
