have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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