Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize