I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
