so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
