Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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